1. When did your eating issues start?
Around 8th grade. I was fat and gay. I didn’t have too many friends. I didn’t value myself. I was in a funk. I thought being skinny would change my life. I thought it would get rid of my insecurities. Exercise wasn’t my forte. I thought about people in poor countries and how they skinny they were because they didn’t enough food. I started slowly cutting my portions down. My family didn’t approve. I come from a very big spanish family.
2. How bad did it get?
They always eat a lot. I wanted faster results so I would throw up in the shower after dinner. I got used to throwing up so much that I would throw up oranges and grapes. I would fall asleep in class because I didn’t have anything in my system to give me energy. My throat always hurt.
3. How did you feel?
I felt more confident once I started losing weight. People were talking to me more. I had friends in different groups in high school but I still felt insecure because I was still hiding the fact that I was gay.
4. Did you get help?
My parents sent me to a nutritionist. She made me write in a food journal but I always lied about what I ate. One summer my family and I went on a cruise and there was food available 24/7. It was hard for me to stay away from it. I would starve myself all day and then at night I would sneak food and eat alone. I figured I would just eat whatever I wanted for this one week since I had already lost a lot of weight. I figured I would stay on top of my weight when I got home.
5. How do you stay in a safe place?
My weight went up and down for years. It is a constant struggle. My advice to other people is just to stay on top of it and don’t let it control you. Keep busy with hobbies and friends. I now have a lot of friends, a good job and a fiancé. I try to keep my weight in control but never to the point where it is unhealthy.
Breathe in Hope 